A few years ago, my husband and I began exploring some better ways of helping our children understand some big principles that very much influence how we as a family operate. One of those principles is basically built around the idea of consumption vs. contribution. Do we expect more from others than what others can expect from us?
We wanted to teach them that although they may feel that they receive value or significance from the acknowledgment of others, value can also be something that they give. How will we choose to fulfill the need for significance in our lives? Will we only consume or will we contribute?
Consumption means that I am using things to feed my need for significance. Contribution means that I am giving to things in a way that demonstrates my value and my worth. Many times, it’s easier to live a life of receiving value or consuming value than it is to give value to others. We often wait for others to meet our needs rather than looking for ways that we can meet theirs. I don’t think there’s a perfect balance but awareness of the difference is required.
We have discovered that even more tricky is helping our children learn to first recognize needs. That is the precursor to figuring out exactly how they can serve. Showing empathy, pointing it out, and discussing it often definitely helps. So does engaging in acts of service or kindness. In what other ways can we help our children (and even ourselves) become people of value?
I created these “What Would You Do” cards for the family, meant to spark honest conversation. The questions on them do not have one correct answer. The idea is to get everyone talking and considering how they would truly respond, given their personalities and attitudes toward the different circumstances. In fact, if a family member doesn’t respond in the way you want them to, it is not the time to argue or ridicule, but to connect and converse.
You’ll notice that the set also includes cards titled “What Do You Notice” with drawings from nature on them. As children investigate the natural world around them, patiently attending to what they observe, it encourages them to show concern for the world around them. I have seen this grow right alongside their ability to care for others and to observe the thoughts and emotions of those around them.
So because of the unique connection I find between these two objectives, these cards have been illustrated with raw images from my children’s nature journals over the years. You can observe the nature drawings together. Discuss what you notice and how it connects to things you’ve personally seen or experienced.
They are available in my shop here. I hope you enjoy!
