Much of homeschooling is built upon predictable routines and rhythms. That’s not a bad thing. Routines help us create practices that align our time with our values. Our ability to choose and decide how our days will ultimately flow is a gift. However, routines and rhythms can also be the main culprits in our lack of fun. Sometimes, they make it easy to forget the importance of creating space for doing something different or even opposite.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of fun. I’ve also been brainstorming ways to pursue some fun with my children. Organizational psychologist and behavioral scientist Mike Rucker, in his book The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life, writes this about the importance of it:
Unlike happiness, fun isn’t a reaction to your circumstances. It’s an action orientation, one you control and can enact almost anywhere, anytime. It’s also enormously beneficial, physically and psychologically…Fun is a direct neurological route to improving our well-being and yet, as I would find, it is also a skill that requires some training, at least for anyone deeply engaged in the serious business of adulting.
He also says that most adults fail to appreciate the physical and mental benefits that fun provides. I can attest to how acknowledging these merits often gets overshadowed by overwhelming thoughts about the need to be “responsible.” Homeschooling is a huge undertaking and instead of focusing on creating the right atmosphere for our children to learn and think well, we easily obsess about educating them adequately (which really equates to “serving up an inordinate amount of information”).
Recently, on Instagram, I asked if people wouldn’t mind sharing with me some examples of something spontaneous they did with their children throughout the day. My thinking was that “spontaneous” often equates to “fun.” Interestingly, when I kept reading and re-reading the examples, I saw how even though spontaneity can indeed be fun, fun can also be deliberate.
Here are the responses I received:
“We just do preschool but the other day we went to a local bakery and watched donuts being made and then the kids got to make their own. They loved it!”
“Before Christmas, I gave the kids an early present, hammocks! We went to our neighborhood lake and hung them and spent the afternoon outside with them! Now it’s one of our favorite things to do!”
“Random trip to the park.”
“I’m not officially homeschooling yet, but while my younger two were napping I whipped up some yogurt paint for my 3 y/o and finger painted together. He had a blast!”
“Walked a mile (one way) to the grocery store to get ice cream!”
“Said yes to the skate park without hesitation. They loaded everything in the van, I grabbed my Kindle, and we all enjoyed the sunshine for hours. And without warning we grabbed Chick-fil-A on the way home.”
“Mid-morning downhill skiing with Grandma and Grandpa during their surprise visit.”
“I added in the trampoline park on a Monday afternoon after not having gone there for months! Also, today I said yes to playing their new Monopoly game.”
“Played ‘camping’ in the backyard with only a lantern and backpack full of snacks.”
“Cooking School! I’d been wanting to do some breakfast meal prep to make mornings easier but kept putting it off. After dropping older kids off at work in the morning, I announced Cooking School to the four still at home. We made so many breakfast burritos and egg sandwiches. I was surprised by how much of a help it was but also fun. And the kids have asked when the next Cooking School is happening.”
“Nothing too big but told them to load up in the van and we’re going to get drive-thru ice cream cones. A literal sweet break on a tough day.”
“I stopped at a yarn store I’ve been wanting to go to for years with my boys (6, 6, and 8) and we got to see a spinning demonstration and got some felting kits! Then, when we got home WE STARTED THEM! And they LOVED stabbing the wool.”
“Last week I surprised them with a trip to Sky Zone after lunch. We hadn’t even gotten through all of our work but I didn’t care. I knew they needed a break and to get some energy out. They loved it!”
“Zoo day instead of bookwork.”
“We were having ‘one of those days’ and we all needed a reset. The boys had been asking to go fishing so we grabbed our fishing gear and spent the afternoon at the lake. It provided the much-needed mental break and school was smoother the next day.”
“It had been raining for a few days straight and the energy in the house was getting unbearable, so we grabbed our boogie boards and got muddy sliding down the slushy slopes in our neighborhood.”
When I initially asked the question online, I was searching for some inspiration for things I might do with my children, and inspiration is just what I received, only differently than what I imagined. What struck me about all the responses collectively, was how people made choices that welcomed fun and spontaneity in ways that were meaningful and unique for their family. They sought to pursue it in ways that were authentic to who they were. Fun is something that we all define very differently. But what is clear is that we do have to be intentional about the joy, wonder, and surprise we are capturing throughout the day. And it’s okay to be deliberate about it! I was so motivated to create some fun of our own.
I’ll leave you with these final words from The Fun Habit:
If you’re cagey about scheduling fun, I promise you this: There’s plenty of room for spontaneity and surprise within that seemingly rigid box on your calendar. Sometimes you have to be a “stickler for fun,” as counterintuitive as that sounds, in order to make the space to allow for the unplanned, the elated, the extraordinary.
