Homeschooling has so much to offer. It can be a beautiful gift for families — a way to grow more connected through the joy of learning. That doesn’t mean it is without challenges. Even throughout a wonder-filled adventure, it can be easy to feel stretched thin. This post is about how to find balance, but not in the way that you might think.
Recognizing the Signs of Burnout
When we reach a place of being so depleted that we no longer feel productive or effective, we usually begin to experience the effects of being in that frame of mind. Hand in hand, frustration usually sets right in with the fatigue. These feelings breed a great deal of uncertainty and an overall lack of clarity.
In a place of frustration, we ask ourselves questions like: What am I doing? Where are we going with this? What will this path lead to? How can we possibly not be further along by now? Why can’t this be easier? How am I going to figure this out? In moments like these, it’s hard to know how to navigate or keep going.
In a place of fatigue, due to the tension and weariness, we start wondering how much longer we can keep things up. It’s not a great combination to live with frustration and fatigue. It can feel like going through the motions, like you’re not fully present in your day-to-day activities. This can lead to temptation toward unusual thinking or behavior. In other words, it makes us start entertaining ideas that we probably wouldn’t if we weren’t in a place of frustration (I’m not capable. I should give up. We can’t make this work. We’ll never accomplish our goals. I quit)
Even though these symptoms might naturally lead us to think that the remedy is in somehow yielding to these thoughts, what the symptoms are really pointing to is a need to regain clarity.
A Clarifying Vision
Clarity gives us the ability to look past the things that are obstructing our view. I wrote in The Joy of Slow:
“Vision brings clarity and helps us to see a way forward….Vision doesn’t guarantee ease, but it clarifies your purpose. With a clear vision, we can start to imagine how we want things to be, even as we’re working from a plan that’s not ideal. Inspiration is the motivating picture we envision of the “how.” It is the stimulation that our brains need to begin figuring out the steps we must take to move forward.”
The remedy for burnout is found in reconnecting with the things that truly matter to you. Typically, we need to regain clarity about: who we are right now (limitations and all) and who we are becoming; what we should be doing in this season (where our focus should be); and what we’re working towards (even when the process takes time or the steps along the way seem unfruitful).
If you’re feeling stretched thin, it might be time to revisit essential things like your homeschool why’s and your personal values. These are the important elements that should influence all that we attempt to do or achieve. If our values are not at the foundation, what we’re working toward will never have the reinforcement it needs. In no time, we’ll find that the structure of our entire homeschooling experience falls flat. Sometimes we move out of sync or lose touch with these foundational elements and it’s important that we get back on track.
Note: In The Joy of Slow, I guide you through the process of figuring out your core values and establishing your homeschool why. I also created tools to help you. Check out Chapter 3 of the book and see the Slow School Manifesto.
A Practical Exercise
One day, I was reading something about the different ways artists and architects explore the idea of perspective in the things they create. Sometimes, they embed meaning and symbolism in the location of the vanishing point (the place where they are trying to direct your eye). After studying various works of art and looking for examples, I started to see a metaphorical relationship between how we look at our homeschooling experience.
We often talk about changing our perspective to see the “big picture” — the broad view that helps us stay on track, moving toward purpose. I think we can agree that at times, seeing the big picture is necessary. In fact, I just told you how we need the big picture to help remedy feelings of burnout.
But equally important is the need to see up close the key features and micro details that make something what it is. You know how sometimes looking too far ahead can swallow up the beauty of the context, or the whole (it vanishes)? The truth is, we need a healthy balance of both gazing toward the future and remaining in the present. Seeing the big picture and seeing the smaller factors.
So, after clarifying your vision, now try making a list of the daily things that help you get to the big goal. We often need encouragement in the little things. Keep building connection with your children, doing the ordinary things that make you “just a mom” who loves, grows, struggles, and perseveres. By embracing the ordinary, you are keeping your eyes on the profound picture of your own context — your home and all you’re building within its walls.
Also, try focusing on one thing at a time (maybe one main goal for the week or the day). Simplifying your expectations can help too.
Remember, burnout doesn’t mean failure. It’s an opportunity to reset. By all means, rest and regroup! When the frustration and fatigue set in, do something life-giving or that fills you with joy. But also, don’t forget that your mindset is a huge part of the equation. Zoom in and zoom out for a balanced view of what you need to be pursuing and prioritizing in this season.
*For more guidance with resetting your homeschool rhythm, don’t forget to check out The Homeschool Rhythm Reset: A Practical Guide to Cultivating Balance and Flow.
