Happy October, everyone!
I love the month for many reasons but one special reason is the 30 Days of Connection Challenge.
Every October for the past several years, I have run the #ThirtyDaysofConnection challenge on social media. The goal is to spend the month intentionally building more meaningful connection with your children. The original post about the challenge appears here.
To do the challenge, I created a 30-day calendar to go along with it, full of ideas for simple ways to connect with your children daily. The FREE calendar is available here.
Viewers have downloaded it thousands of times, so I know this idea excites you as much as it excites me! The report I have heard over the years from families who decide to participate is that the challenge has a way of helping them make time and space for something they care about deeply. It also helps them consider the quality of the many interactions they have with their loved ones throughout the day.
I love this quote from Dr. Laura Markham, the clinical psychologist who founded Aha! Parenting. She had this to say on her blog:
“Often, we go whole days or even weeks just moving our kids through the schedule, without taking time to really connect. And most parents can’t imagine where they would find more time to connect. So look for opportunities that are already in your schedule, where you can slow down and create an opportunity for closeness….Intimacy is a dance. It deepens or is eroded by every interaction we have. The good news? That means that every interaction you have is a chance to shift onto a positive track and deepen your connection to your loved ones. Just paying attention for a week to how you respond when your children reach out to you can shift the whole tone in your family.”
So let’s explore the layered interactions we have with our children that can happen in many different ways. In my book, The Joy of Slow, I describe the three categories I use to think about these interactions. They are mind-to-mind, body-to-body and heart-to-heart. How can we use them to relate to our children better?
- Mind‑to‑mind connection is the free-flowing exchange of ideas. It often occurs through conversations that generate exciting and interesting mental energy. It happens easily around shared interests or whenever two people can share their thoughts or engage in joint challenges of the intellect.
- Body‑to‑body connection happens through physical touch. We tend to think only in terms of physical moments like hugs and kisses, but it’s also smaller points of contact like touching an arm, patting a back, or looking someone in the eye. It can even be engaging in physical activity like sports or games together.
- Heart‑to‑heart connection is the free-flowing exchange of emotions. That doesn’t always mean tears or screaming and yelling (two extremes on the emotional spectrum). It’s baring your heart and communicating in a way that matches the vulnerability of the other person.
When these three ways of interacting are in play, it can take the connection to a whole new level. The ideas on the 30-day calendar target all three areas. They are meant to spark conversation and hopefully prompt you to think of ways to work toward connection that are unique to you and your family.
So let’s do it again! Who’s joining in the challenge?
You have two options:
- Download the FREE 30-day calendar now. If you’d like, share what you’re doing on Instagram so we can all be inspired, and don’t forget to use the hashtag #thirtydaysofconnection. The French version of this calendar is here.
- Purchase the year-long calendar available in my digital shop. I came up with a host of ideas for deepening connection all year long and formatted it into a beautiful calendar/planner in which you can also jot notes and write goals. You can find the Spanish version of it here.
Let’s spend the month of October (and beyond!) intentionally engaged in activities that connect us to our children mentally, emotionally, and physically.
