You might have seen the post series I did about this topic a while back on Instagram. I realized that I never put it here on the blog, which I meant to at the time! I based the series on five questions I am frequently asked in some form or another about self-directed learning, or what I sometimes refer to as project-based learning. I hope that this offers some support in your efforts to mentor your children and the learning going on in your home.
Question 1: If my child is doing X, Y, or Z, is it a project/project-based learning/self-directed learning?
A project is not just a topic, a question, a thing created, or an interest. It’s everything that grows out of those things. It’s the whole process of making, doing, and thinking. It’s the choices made along the way, sometimes obvious and other times more subtle. When you set out to learn something, there’s a lot that is involved. What happens on the journey depends on your interests and the choices you make. This includes (in no particular order):
- experimentation
- self-reflection
- making mistakes
- gathering information
- sorting through data
- setting goals
- finding materials
- developing a plan
- changing plans
- seeking out help
- learning a new skill
- practicing old skills
- putting other knowledge to use
- experiencing frustration
- being proud of accomplishment
So it doesn’t really matter what the project or interest is. It’s about supporting and mentoring our children to become more independent as they do all of the above. Everything on this list, along with thinking skills, the ability to self-reflect, communicate, and show resilience, translates across “projects” so those are the things we want to highlight and support.
Question 2: Can I support a child’s interests and work without a “Project Time?”
We have “Project Time” in our home because that works for us. It’s an intentional time set aside when my children are directing and managing their own learning. They are deciding what work they want to do, what materials they want to explore, and what they want to learn more about, and they’re making decisions about what that looks like day to day. I set aside this time because it demonstrates that this way of learning is important to me and that I value their interests. If we didn’t, I know how easy it would be for the time to be given over to other things. It’s my way of making space for what I value.
However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t support your child’s interests without a Project Time like mine. For example, who’s to say that you can’t support a teen’s interest on the weekend or whenever you find them engaged in it? Maybe your children already make time for things they’re passionate about and you just need to come alongside them and figure out how to be a good mentor. Everyone has interests. Your child has interests. You show you value them by being curious about their work and their process, asking questions, talking with them, giving input or advice, sharing ideas, offering feedback, purchasing things they need, driving them to places they want to go that are connected to those interests, etc.
This *cannot* happen, or does not happen well outside of a genuine relationship. If your child doesn’t even want your input because they think you’ll take over, crush their dreams, tell them their interest is not academic enough, or criticize their effort, you probably won’t feel like you can offer much support. Build a connection. Share your own work with them. Make time for their ideas. Expect that they are thinking, developing, and growing, even if you can’t see it.
I use the term “Project Time” recognizing that it has limitations. My family knows what we mean when we use it, but let’s address some problematic things the term implies:
- Younger children often just choose to do something they are interested in, even if the interest is short-lived. It’s developmentally appropriate for them to simply want to try out new things or explore new materials, not do a “project.”
- Older children are more likely to seize opportunities for in-depth study, but “project” can imply that they pick something to study and then see it through to the end. It doesn’t always work out this way. Sometimes they’re juggling multiple interests at once and they make choices all the time about what they call “finished.”
- “Project” can also imply that the work has a definite start and ending place, but this isn’t always true. Sometimes the journey to learn something is messy with a lot of stops and starts.
- “Project” might also imply that the child produces something tangible. But what if their interest causes them to develop confidence in ways that aren’t obvious, like when training a dog? Or what about the child who makes clay sculptures that they never keep but smash and restart each time?
We can’t always package learning in a box of our choosing. Projects and interests will look completely different depending on the uniqueness of our children. We must celebrate the process not just the “project.”
Question 3: What about kids who are “unmotivated” to learn in any self-directed way?
This question comes up quite a bit, but it’s one I can never answer easily. Whenever we say that our children are unmotivated, we must first ask ourselves what we are really defining as “unmotivated.”
Is it that a child resists the time we’ve set aside for formally trying out self-directed learning? Is it that they’re not on board with the ways we want them to go about managing their own learning? Do they have absolutely no interests under the sun, or is it more that we have trouble recognizing them?
Is it that their interests don’t match our idea of what would make productive work? Is it that they have interests but don’t trust our attempts to “schoolify” them?
Do they struggle in ways that make it difficult to independently pursue an interest? Do they lack confidence in themselves as capable thinkers, makers, or doers? Do they have trouble redirecting their plans when they encounter problems?
Rarely does a child simply lack motivation. We have to look more closely perhaps at what it is they *are* motivated to do. What do they care about and why? How do they choose to spend their time? What makes them happy or excited? What kinds of things do they want to repeat doing? What do they put a lot of energy towards? What do they argue with us about? The answers to all of these questions can reveal true interest and motivation. There is usually a reason behind the seeming absence of enthusiasm or a will to learn. It is our job to find it.
Once we find it, we can address the various issues. We might need to focus on removing obstacles that are in the way. Perhaps we need to pay closer attention to what they enjoy doing. We might need to adjust our expectations or check our biases. We might have to figure out a different path to the same destination, or another way in. We might try to connect more than we control. We might support our children in areas where they are struggling, helping them to gain certain skills. Many times the solution is to adjust our way of thinking. More often than not, a child’s “lack of motivation” is a myth.
Question 4: How do I begin supporting self-directed interests?
Here are some ideas for ways of getting started:
1. Begin by noticing your child’s interests. See yesterday’s post on the things that reveal where motivation might lie. Observe, notice, and then start supporting what you observe.
2. Some kids need free time, or to be in control of their time to even figure out what their interests might be. Offer open-ended materials and time to explore and play. You never know if they might start making comics with the paper and drawing materials you made available. Or if they start constructing marble shoots with recycled paper towel rolls. Interests that emerge from these times can grow slowly, so you might have to get comfortable with time for exploration (without attaching to it other agendas). Provide the materials and see what happens. Open up your schedule and allow your day to feel spacious for a time, rather than packed with activities. Read new books. Visit somewhere interesting. Go on a hike. Try something new together. Interest could be just around the corner. Simply live, wide awake to the world around you and expect to be surprised.
3. Sometimes a way in is by asking yourself what you already do in your routine that can be done with a project-based learning approach. Is there a topic you’re studying? Do your children have ideas about things they’d like to explore further? Can you help them grow their independence to do their own research or to decide what comes next?
4. Do your own meaningful work and model your process. Invite your children into your thought life concerning what you are doing. Use the awareness gained from your own journey to inform how to support them in theirs.
These are all ways of starting.
There’s no one right or wrong way to begin. Take comfort in the fact that it’s a self-correcting process, so the worst that could happen is that you make a mistake. Maybe an interest you support won’t last. Maybe you won’t offer the right kind of help. But with more experience, you’ll all get better. Your children will get more sure of what they want to do (especially as they begin to trust the process of how you support this kind of work in your home). They’ll see the value that you’re putting on their interests and more and more, they will value their own time and make better decisions about how to spend it.
Question 5: How do I mentor and support a child doing self-directed work?
You honor their ideas, their work, and their effort even if you don’t understand it. You support the process of doing meaningful work and encourage the skills that will translate to the next project. You thoughtfully find ways to help them independently pursue their own path, without taking over or trying to control their work.
You invite their ideas (What do you think about this? What’s your next step? What kind of help do you need?) You affirm their ability to gather information, plan, organize, etc. You reflect back to them what you observe about their work and who they are as workers and learners. You say and do things that inspire them to do more with their interest.
When your children encounter problems in their work, try to sympathize first with the frustration. When my children run into obstacles, I ask how I can help and what went wrong. When the time is right, I ask how they think particular problems can be solved. I don’t step in and fix everything, as much as I want to sometimes. When it comes to their work, I might make suggestions but they’re not directives. Sometimes they take my advice and sometimes they don’t.
Resources to help you learn more about mentoring self-directed learners:
- The Joy of Slow (my book — More info about that to come!)
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