Seeing Our Children Generously

I wasn’t expecting something quite so moving when my son walked up to me and said, “Mommy, I want to share this story within a story with you. You’re really going to like it!” He was reading Dav Pilkey’s graphic novel, Cat Kid Comic Club: Influencers. 

The story is about two birds, one blue and one red, who see life through two very different lenses. The red bird tends to see the events of her life as negative, challenging, and insurmountable, while the blue bird, with tremendous gratitude in her heart, always looks for the silver lining. One particularly touching part was at the end of their lives. The red bird is described like this:

Many many years went by…
and two birds grew too old to fly.
Collapsed before the setting sun… 
one bird said, “My life is done.”
Too tired to walk…
too blind to see…
A lifetime choked with misery.

And the blue bird is described like this:

The other bird was dying, too.
For that’s what every bird must do.
Grateful for a chance to live…
…to see the world…
…to love…
…to give.

The story made me think about how two people could look at the same situation differently. How they respond is a choice. Our thoughts dictate our feelings and actions, and the moment we choose to think differently, our responses to things will also change accordingly.

As a mom, I can see how this plays out when raising children. In the daily grind of mothering, we tend to easily see the weaknesses, character flaws and struggles our children demonstrate and sometimes, they can outshine or outweigh the good qualities. When we react in a way that pushes our concern to the level of crisis, we leave hardly any space for gratitude or for the work of their “becoming.” We’re simply in a hurry for them to change.

Seeing our children generously means that, like the blue bird, we operate from a place of thankfulness. We look for their gifts and strengths, expecting them to shine through. We notice and celebrate when they do. When we are faced with the shortfalls that tempt us to see like the red bird, we lovingly allow space for those things to become something better over time. We do this by offering support and mentorship.

We also do this by regularly demonstrating gratitude. We remain grateful for who our children are presently, as they’re in the process of becoming better. 

I don’t think it was that the blue bird never experienced disappointment. I think she just let it go much more quickly than the red bird did. She didn’t let it get in her way or keep her from moving on or having hope.

I can be pretty sappy sometimes so it’s no surprise that this little story about birds made me cry. But I’m serious in saying that I want to live my life like the blue bird. 

I want to mother my children in a way that protects their vulnerable places, trusts the way God is developing and maturing them, guides them in that growth, and loves them through it all. 

I want to remain grateful for the easy and the hard, the ups and the downs, the simple and the complicated. Every part of the journey is worth celebrating somehow.